EA Sports newest game upsets Congress


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EA Sports newest game upsets Congress
04.14.04 (11:39 am)   [edit]
With the recent releases of Fight Night 2004 and NFL Street, EA Sports has definitely diversified its once exclusive sports games for the general public.

However, their most recent video game, Terrorism Live 2004, upset not only Congress, but the entire American public.

The concept of the game is strikingly similar to most EA Sports titles; however, instead of taking control of a sports team, players can run their own team of terrorists.

Will Osama be the next in the unlucky EA Sports cover curse? Well you know what they say, if it's in the game, it's in the game.

“I cannot believe we didn’t think of this concept earlier,” said head EA Sports software engineer Hideki Rojovi.

“Not only can you choose from over 32 well known terrorist groups, including Al-Qeada, but you can build your own team through a fantasy draft and take them straight to the top!”

The exclusive 120 year dynasty mode allows users to take their favorite team through the ups and downs of running a militant group of terrorists. The gamer must try to recruit young terrorists, much like NCAA Football, and also involve the youngsters in dangerous tasks so they progress in skill.

Not only are each of the tasks more difficult than the last, but funding for these tasks tends to become a problem year by year.

“Well, the first task is relatively simple, hijack a plane,” said Rojovi. “Then, the player is hit with a series of suicide bombings and blowing up of embassies which require serious dollars. Obviously, some members of your team will be better fit for certain tasks than others and this is where recruiting an elite team is important.”

Each terrorist is rated on a scale of 99 on the following traits: knowledge, speed, agility, weaponry, espionage, strength, guts, aggressiveness, kick power, throw accuracy, and break tackle. Combined, these traits average out to an overall rating for the terrorist.

Here is an exclusive screenshot from Terrorism Live 2004. What kind of horseracing game were they trying to make?

Osama Bin Laden is the games overall best player with a score of 99.

“I started a fantasy draft in my preview of the game, and with the third pick, took Osama,” said video game journalist John Bernstein. “I know he’ getting old and weak, but his 99 knowledge and 98 espionage sets him apart from the rest, I’m going to franchise tag him as soon as possible!”

Congress has temporarily delayed the release of Terrorism Live 2004, which was set to hit stores September 11th, 2004.

“This game demoralizes America and makes us look like imperialistic idiots!” said Iowa Senator Tom Harkin. “I mean, to let our children play this game and build a team to eventually destroy America...it is simply terrible. I’m not sure how this game made it past the FCC.”

EA Sports told reporters that the game was initially programmed to be a horseracing game and a couple of numerical errors were to blame.

EA also claimed that the name, Terrorism Live 2004, was a typo.

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